My Girlfriend and I are going to school in different states. Will it work?

So you’re battling the big old long distance relationship monster and you have no idea what to do? I know it can suck, but if you both really want it to work – it can! Hense the word, both.

Since you are considering staying with your partner despite the long distance factor, I am going to go ahead and assume that you guys intend on being together for ever. The reason why I am saying this is because if it is just another fling, or you know you do not want to spend an eternity together, get it over with now. If this is the case, why put yourself and your partner through misery if you know that this isn’t what you want forever, only just for now. End it now. Do it for yourself and for him/her.

H0wever, if you have both openly talked about spending your life together and are both serious in your relationship and plan to have a future together, then a long distance relationship can definitely work. On the bright side, if you both know you want to spend your lives together, you will feel more secure and know that this is just a hump in your journey together, right? Once school is done, you’ll be together finally and no more long, drawn-out distances.

Most importantly, you both need to have trust and open communication. Providing one another reassurance and security can be hard when you are not physically together, so you must rely on your words. You may think you say it enough, but “I love you” and “I miss you” can never be said too many times – especially if you’re miles away from one another.

It is very important to keep him/her in your daily life as much as possible. Talk daily and share stories about each others day. Take pictures for one another of your school, dorm room, even your favourite teacher who is teaching you how to become a cop. Sharing the little things can make a huge difference and provide astonishing amounts of security and the feeling of involvement within one anothers life.

If you want it to work, then it can – as long as you do just that…. work. It will take time, effort, commitment and honesty. You can decide if the dedication you will have to put forth is worth it.

I hate to sound cliche, but in this case (and as it is in most), it is the smallest things that count!

How To Deal With A Breakup In College?

Although I may not have a masters in psychology, I sure have had my experience with breakups, whether they be my personal break ups, friends or family. It has got to be one of the worst feelings in the world, I know but it could be worse, right? At least you’re in college, and not high school where you will definitely see them every single day. I know it can seem like too much to be juggling your school work and your heartbreak, but the following tips will send you well on your way to healing up that hole.

Take Time Away From That Person

Sounds impossible, doesn’t it? As much as it sucks, this is exactly what needs to be done. You will never fully heal if you are constantly talking to that person, or still seeing them and it will only prolong that horrible feeling of heartache that you are experiencing. Do what you need to do, whether it be deleting them from your bbm, ignorning their phone calls and even filtering their emails to your spam folder. Don’t feel bad, you are your first priority and you need to take this time to get over it. Clean up your place and put away the pictures, jewelry, notes etc. Put it all away. You do not need yet another reminder of that person, as if you don’t already think about them enough, right? I do not suggest throwing them out. Once you heal, they will be good memories. 

Stay Busy

I know it is hard to stay busy. All you want to do is lay in bed, cry and sulk, and that’s quite okay to do… for a day or two. It’s time you get back on your feet! Go out with friends, even though you want to stay at home and drink a bottle of wine (I don’t suggest this!). Watch a movie – nothing romantic. Play video games, or card games with your friends. Go for a walk. Take on more hours at work, join a club, go through that stack of assignments that are due. Do whatever it takes for you to be doing something other then laying around and thinking. It may suck to have to go out, but once you are out, you will be happy you chose to do so. It’s better then laying around crying, right?

Vent Away To Those You Trust

Now I sent vent, not dwell. Spilling out absolutely everything you have on your mind to a good friend or family member will help. Just let it all roll off the tongue and let it all out. If you don’t want to talk to anyone, write it down. One thing that I noticed always helps is writing “them” a letter, telling them everything you wish you could say. The trick? Don’t actually give it to them!

Give It Time

I know it sounds cliche, but time heals the heart. It is said that for every month you were together, it takes one week. So if you were together for a year, it will take 12 weeks to feel 100% again. I know that sounds like a long time, but look forward to the days when you can wake up with a smile on your face, and your heart not in your throat. It will come, just be patient.